Slammed doors, raised voices, silent treatments. Morning cuddles, sweet nothings, date nights.
Pesky habits, heavy sobs, unsolved resentments. Planned surprises, silly laughter, unending conversations.
Images of love and sounds of pain - the cacophony of marriage.
Remember the vow 'for better or for worse'?
It's lived every day, in the flesh, in the ordinariness and the humdrum. There are days when it's better. There are nights when it's worse...
Read MoreWhen our life together began, I waxed poetic about being married at such a young age, looking forward to the unveiling of the sacrament. It's been a year since we tied the knot and I'm happy to confirm that yes, there are so many actual rewards I can tirelessly and enthusiastically write about. My own experience so far has sealed my role as advocate of young love because there is just so much rawness and richness to behold. Here's what the past year has gloriously shown me...
Getting To Know You
There is only so much you can know about each other as girlfriend and boyfriend, or even as an engaged couple. It is only in marriage where the real self reveals itself. But this has less to do with facts about the spouse (any more secrets? skeletons?) and more about one's character. How does he set the budget? How does she adapt to chores? What does he do after a fight? How does she celebrate his triumphs? Every single day presents endless opportunities to get to know each other even more, even deeper...
Read MoreWe've decided to begin a tradition: write a new vow to each other every anniversary and read it to the other in front of God. Here's mine.
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I remember the day in fragmented, fleeting moments. We were wide-eyed newlyweds basking in the glory of the beautiful sacrament. You in a handsome, tailored suit; me in a lacey, immaculate gown. Us in the center of our circle of family and friends, receiving wishes enough to last a lifetime. A bride and a groom celebrating, dancing, making merry.
And a year after, here we are: Stripped off the adornment, decoration, and finery characteristic of a wedding day. Removed from the fanciful dreams and delights painted by half-truths. Handed reality, rawness, and vulnerability on a not-so-silver plate. Outsiders will say, ‘What despair!’ But marked with my own blood, I say, ‘What peace!’ ...
Read MoreWhere is it? I was trying my hardest to find it. It wasn't under the rugs, in the past love letters, among the photos and memorabilia. I couldn't find it in our hands, in our shared pantry, in our breakfast eggs. Where could it be then? I had it before... well, we had it before.
You know, the one that makes loving easy. The one that drives you to surprise each other almost every day. The one that gets you head over heels, puts butterflies in your stomach, and pastes hearts in your eyes.
Because after almost a year (4 more months till the happy anniversary!) of face-to-face Good Mornings and Good Nights (and believe me, it's not always a chirpy greeting), it dies down a bit along the way.
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Coffee, I used to smirk at it. I don't need you, I would say. You're only for people with no sense of time and sleep. You're only acceptable when you're mixed in ice cream, in pastries, and smoothies (okay, I meant frappuccinos). Coffee dates were never really coffee dates because I would rest in tea, Chamomile, please.
And now, I'm still not a coffee addict. But I look for it, sometimes. Which is something I thought would never, ever happen.
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