An Ode To Us

We married with a plan; we continued with none. It was easy to tell ourselves that the next step was to have a baby, to grow a family, to show that indeed we were moving along a perfectly calculated timeline. But that didn't happen, of course. Things don't always go our way, of course.

And looking back at the almost two years we had to just you and me, I'm ever so grateful that life brought us somewhere else.

If I squint, I can find ourselves on our wedding day and remember exactly who we were in the folds and creases of our bodies and our souls: such wide-eyed, ecstatic newlyweds with a perfect image of each other, hoping and expecting nothing but the best. It was adorable; we were immaculate. And then life happened and hit us like a truck...

MarriageDeanne BanaresMay 6, 2017Love, Marriage, Parenthood, Couple, HusbandComment

Marriage Bytes: For Better or For Worse

Slammed doors, raised voices, silent treatments. Morning cuddles, sweet nothings, date nights.

Pesky habits, heavy sobs, unsolved resentments. Planned surprises, silly laughter, unending conversations.

Images of love and sounds of pain - the cacophony of marriage.

Remember the vow 'for better or for worse'?

It's lived every day, in the flesh, in the ordinariness and the humdrum. There are days when it's better. There are nights when it's worse...

MarriageDeanne BanaresJanuary 12, 2017Marriage, Husband, Wife, Spouse, Promises, VoewComment

Young Love

When our life together began, I waxed poetic about being married at such a young age, looking forward to the unveiling of the sacrament. It's been a year since we tied the knot and I'm happy to confirm that yes, there are so many actual rewards I can tirelessly and enthusiastically write about. My own experience so far has sealed my role as advocate of young love because there is just so much rawness and richness to behold. Here's what the past year has gloriously shown me...

Getting To Know You

There is only so much you can know about each other as girlfriend and boyfriend, or even as an engaged couple. It is only in marriage where the real self reveals itself. But this has less to do with facts about the spouse (any more secrets? skeletons?) and more about one's character. How does he set the budget? How does she adapt to chores? What does he do after a fight? How does she celebrate his triumphs? Every single day presents endless opportunities to get to know each other even more, even deeper...

MarriageDeanne BanaresAugust 4, 2016Marriage, Husband, Wife, Young, Domesticity, Love Comments

His Year in Review

We've decided to begin a tradition: write a new vow to each other every anniversary and read it to the other in front of God. Here's my husband's.

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Dear Deanne,

It has been a year since I read my first vows in front of hundreds of our loved ones and friends. Upon read it again, I was so surprised at how I could write words so inspiring, which serves as a reminder for me to fight the good fight, even when every bone in my body tells me otherwise. I do it because I love you, I love you as how Christ loves the Church.

I know that I have been weak at times, enough to disappoint you on what marriage is all about. At those moments, I do wish I hadn't written my first vows in the way that I did as I have given myself a high standard. But I would be untrue to myself if I didn't. I would have not given you my whole heart and soul, which isn't fair because you have given me yours, and I feel that everyday. Therefore, I vow to make marriage life a dream come true for you. A marriage that you can be proud of and are willing to share to others...

MarriageDeanne BanaresJune 29, 2016Marriage, Vow, Husband, Anniversary, Wedding, Love, Promises Comment

Her Year in Review

We've decided to begin a tradition: write a new vow to each other every anniversary and read it to the other in front of God. Here's mine.

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I remember the day in fragmented, fleeting moments. We were wide-eyed newlyweds basking in the glory of the beautiful sacrament. You in a handsome, tailored suit; me in a lacey, immaculate gown. Us in the center of our circle of family and friends, receiving wishes enough to last a lifetime. A bride and a groom celebrating, dancing, making merry.

And a year after, here we are: Stripped off the adornment, decoration, and finery characteristic of a wedding day. Removed from the fanciful dreams and delights painted by half-truths. Handed reality, rawness, and vulnerability on a not-so-silver plate. Outsiders will say, ‘What despair!’ But marked with my own blood, I say, ‘What peace!’ ...

MarriageDeanne BanaresJune 27, 2016Marriage, Vow, Anniversary, Wife, HusbandComment