The Fourth Birth: Part 1

‘Aren’t you in labor?’, my husband said with a sense of urgency. I looked up to him with confusion spread across my face. It was 2:30 a.m. I was sitting on our toilet bowl trying to see if the mucus had a tinge of red. It had been 10 minutes since I was awakened by a gush of water trickling between my legs. I was hesitant to give the go signal because even if it looked like labor, I wasn’t feeling any contractions. I decided to call my doula and recount the past half hour. She calmly said, ‘Your water just broke. If you aren’t feeling anything, lie down and rest first.’

I laid down; my husband paced the floor. I remember being in an emotional state of limbo, unsure of what I wanted to happen next. Five minutes later, a familiar sensation coursed through my body. Welcome back, old friend, I thought as my toes curled up in response to the feeling…

MotherhoodDeanne BanaresSeptember 10, 2022motherhood, birth, home birth, doula, midwife, children, familyComment

The Third Birth: A Story of Humility

It was not an empowering birth, but it was a humbling one. It was 3:30 am and I was in denial – the ungodliest of hours to feel such gravity. The muscles were contracting on an interval; I was curling my toes every time they were doing so. It can’t be happening, it can’t be happening, I thought. I was still six weeks away from my due date. I didn’t want to tell my husband because I didn’t want it to be true. But when half an hour passed, I woke him and he sat up in shock and worry. I checked myself in the bathroom and the next sign of labor was there – bloody discharge…

MotherhoodDeanne BanaresDecember 2, 2020Motherhood, Premature Baby, Family LifeComment

Third Time's The Charm

We will tell him this pregnancy was hard. I will describe to him the nights I laid wide awake, awash in worry and regret. The pandemic frightened me but the sight of two lines on a test tipped me over. I will speak of the moments his father and I fought, argued, and wished for what was not.

In a span of three years, we went from dreaming, hoping, and praying to holding our breaths and bracing ourselves for impact. Carrying an unplanned baby in the midst of a pandemic while juggling two young toddlers – that idea packs a punch. The conceived has become inconceivable…

MotherhoodDeanne BanaresOctober 18, 2020parenting, motherhood, surprise, pregnancy, children, loveComment

Going Home

Homeschooling. We’ve opted to go the crazy path and not sign up for any online classes. I have no plastic envelopes filled with lesson plans and worksheets. I stared in horror at the empty calendar my child was going to have this year. What in this lockdown-crazed earth are we going to do? One hard look at my child and the answer was right in front of me: follow him…

MotherhoodDeanne BanaresOctober 6, 2020Homeschooling, Motherhood, Children, LearningComment

Azelie Marie's Grand Entrance

This is a photo of Azelie born last August 22. In the unlikeliest of places: the guest bathroom in our apartment.

I desired for a birth just like Noah’s: planned and painless in the hospital birthing room. I prayed for that. And in a style true to His nature, God gave me the exact opposite.

I woke up at 4 am, unable to sleep due to the contractions. They were tolerable, even though they were spaced 10 minutes apart, so I decided to wait it out. After half an hour, I found myself going to the bathroom more and even saw my mucus plug in the toilet. I woke Raffy up to tell him about it but still, no urgency from us to go to the hospital. The main reason was that no one would look after Noah — it was just the three of us in our apartment.

MotherhoodDeanne BanaresAugust 27, 2019Motherhood, Natural birth, Family, Pregnancy, Delivery, Labor Comments