It Looks Good

It’s amazing what I do to get that perfect Square shot. It’s amazing what any of us do, really.

Okay, style it. No, no, the flower looks better angled. Is this shot good enough? Probably better to take a couple more. Click, click, click. Now, which VSCO filter goes best? Okay, maybe adjust the brightness and contrast a bit. There you go, perfect.

We spend more time editing the photo to make it look presentable to the public. But before that, we make sure it's a photo of something fun, spontaneous, creative, and... good. Yes, I'm living the life! Yes, I'm eating in the new, hip café! Yes, I got accepted! There's nothing wrong with photographing the beautiful, with sharing the new find, the great announcement. After all, there's too much bad news around, right? And really, who wants to follow an Instagram feed of random, blurred shots and downright negativity? 

But that mindset is always a double-edged sword. Well, probably everything is in this fallen world but hey, let's not get philosophical now. When seeking to build perfect image upon perfect image, we craft something untrue. Because in this fallen world, there is both good days and bad ones. When we leave out the latter, we build a mental monster that tells us we have to seek to be as perfect as her, as him. If she can do it, so can I. I need to do this to have more likes!  More followers! More orange notifications! And then when it doesn't turn out that way, we get deflated. 

Exactly what happened with my crepe cake. I was scrolling through Pinterest when a photo of Martha Stewart's green tea crepe cake came up. It looked heavenly, miraculous. I wanted to do the same, try something new. So I ran to the grocery and then stayed in the kitchen for two hours. After layering the 20 crepes (20!) and pastry cream, the first thing I thought was, In no way does this look like the one on Pinterest. And when I tasted it, I said, In no way does this taste like Lady M's.  

Talk about being hard on yourself, huh?

Both statements were true. But so what? It's also true that in no way can social media capture my determination to just do it, can capture the two hours I stood on my feet and made crepe after crepe after crepe, can capture the exhilaration of doing something for the first time ever. I probably failed to make the most perfect crepe cake but that shouldn't have been the goal anyway. I've heard it said that failure is just a sign that I've tried something new. And for someone like me who has never called her kitchen her home (till now), that's pretty amazing. 

So, world, I present to you my green tea crepe cake, in all it's mushy, thick, unfiltered, unstyled glory. I've never posted anything more awesome than this.